Click here to go back to the main page Chuck Norris

• Chuck Norris doesn't play mini golf, he plays maxi-golf
• Chuck Norris doesn't check into trunk, he Chucks in to trunk
• Chuck Norris can checkout of GIT without cloning first
• Chuck Norris can drop cascade on any database any level deep
• Chuck Norris can speed, legally!
• Chuck norris uses 2x4s as skis
• Chuck Norris doesn't drive an SUV, the SUV rides him
• Chuck Norris can make a single TCP packet connectionless
• Chuck Norris does not GO on vacation, Vacation comes to him
• Chuck Norris has no need for Databases, he stores everything in his head
• Chuck Norris runs his model trains in -20C and with the snow on the track
• Chuck Norris' preferred IDE is hexedit.
• Chuck Norris knows the value of infinity
• Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need the cloud to scale his applications, he uses his laptop.
• Chuck Norris writes his web applications in http://vanilla-js.com/ - the best JS framework!
• Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t use standards as the universe will conform to him.
• Chuck Norris never gets a syntax error. Instead, the language gets an DoesNotConformToChuck error
• Chuck Norris only programs in "Chuck", it is a very unique programming language no-one else can read/write... It is typeless, has no limits and is not structured or Object oriented and doesn't resemble any other language
• Chuck Norris can run SQL: SELECT * from * where * LIKE '%Chuck%'
• Chuck Norris doesn't have to make workarounds, they workaround him
• Chuck Norris doesn't play with scale trains, he plays will full sized as toys
• when Chuck Norris moves data into the cloud, he uses a Chuck-Kick to get it there
• when Chuck Norris plays Virtual Reality, he simply calls it Reality
• Chuck Norris Drinks Brawndo
• Chuck Norris writes binary code directly, has no need for compilers or even assemblers.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need to write comments, OR even keep the source code, as the code will never need changes
• Chuck Norris always writes self modifying code (even in HLL like Java) but the issue when it runs, it expands into something too big to run on current technology
• when Chuck Norris calls GC(); in java, it frees more memory than the JVM is using
• Chuck Norris writes all code in whitespace programming language, it's easier to read
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero
• Chuck Norris knows the last digit of PI
• Chuck Norris can access private methods
• Chuck Norris never uses products as intended
• Chuck Norris can climb out of a black hole
• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars ... he did not use a spacecraft
• Chuck Norris uses null's in his password
• Chuck Norris uses expect(1) to test GUI applications
• Chuck Norris doesn't need SQL aliases
• Chuck Norris can run multiple queries at the same time using 1 connection
• When Chuck goes swimming in the ocean, he causes a tsunami
• Chuck Norris can do manual performance testing as an infinite number of users simultaneously
• Chuck Norris can ride a unicycle with no peddles
• If two trains leave Chicago, one traveling at 70 mph and the other traveling at 90 mph, Chuck Norris is on both of them.
• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars
• What is with all of those craters on the moon? That was Chuck Norris
• Chuck Norris doesn't use a lathe: he turns by hand and uses his fingernail as the tool
• before the telephone Chuck Norris could transmit morse code at 500 words per minute, but no-one other than chuck norris could receive that fast
• chuck norris can build a house with one strike of a hammer
• chuck Norris uses road flares as birthday candles
• chuck Norris uses Weather balloons at his birthday
• chuck norris doesn't produce datasheets: his products do not contain limits, and use is clear to everyone
• chuck norris doesn't give all staff meetings, because he is a one man show
• chuck norris doesn't have to submit his taxes - as he doesn't have to pay any
• chuck norris doesn't have to pick investments, the investments pick him
• chuck norris doesn't have to worry about formatting when copy/paste between systems as he can type faster than copy/paste